For me, it’s disappearing. That someday something will happen to me and no one will ever know what it was and where I am. That I will become one of those mysteries you see online and on TV shows. Whenever I think about it I feel nothing but dread.
Dementia
Alzheimer/Dementia is one of those few situations where I really can’t blame someone for going out on their own terms. The idea of being trapped inside your own effectively disintegrating mind is terrifying.
I live it everyday. Others around me see and deal with it. Very frustrating. Sometimes you know its happening and sometimes your just not functioning normal anymore. Its like being a shell of your former self.
The same thought for your physical body also seems reasonable to me. Or just for intolerable pain.
Yeah I think its weird that it’s considered more morally sound to make them waste away in agony then let them willingly end their suffering through controlled means.
Like, if they’re gonna do it, they’re gonna do it. Wouldn’t it be better to make sure they do it in the cleanest way possible?
This or some kind of psychosis… Mental health, neurocognitive abnormalities scare the shit out of me. That its very possible it can happen to me.
I once met a guy who was stuck in a drug enduced psychosis when I was 12 or something. It shook me pretty badly. I’m not opposed to drugs at all, but I’ve always had an irrational fear of halucigenic drugs since.
Lots of people make almost full recoveries from psychosis. Not so much from dementia.
Having to work for another 20 years.
Checks calendar, “oh shit.”
Haha only 20?
Look at the millionaire that only has to work 20 more years
The speed at which we are (not) acting on climate change. Our tolerance for neoliberals/capitalists absolutely wiping their arse with the whole planet.
Letting down people I love somehow
Ask to be their pallbearer.
Fortunately I don’t know any scrum masters personally so they would not even get the experience of being let down last time by a dev. Exceot in a purely metaphorical sense I guess.
I was in this crystal clear cliffside cove and could see in front of me maybe 10 m or so but the Rock only went out about 5 and then just plunged into the abyss. and after exploring the coastline I swim out about 10 ft past the rocks and realized that I could see nothing but the deepest blue I’d ever seen.
literally anything could be just a few body lengths away watching me were sensing me, it was almost overwhelming.
I felt this visceral terror, that I’ve felt before in the middle of reading a Lovecraft story.
very much looking into the eye of something unknowable.
A hypothetical fear of course, one with my wife who I’ve been with for 15 years now.
One day, maybe hopefully 30-50 years in the future, my wife and I look back and think about how good our lives were. We raised happy and successful kids. We bought a house. We had dozens of pets. We celebrate the end of our life together. But she doesn’t make it.
And I have to spend the final years alone with memories of her. Two controllers. Two spoons. Two of everything for decades. Now just me.
And Never being able to explain to the rest of the world how amazing she was.
My biggest fear is that my office chair might break in such a way that the hydraulic piston breaks through the seat and punctures my colon.
Well thanks a lot, that’s now my fear too.
Oh… oh no… Damn it, I will never sit in an office chair the same ever again without thinking about this.
Gotta get an ass guard, like Thor has
The idea of living as if my life hadn’t really started yet and then one day realizing I’m old and I wasted my life.
Lot of contenders really! And the only solution is to try not to think about it, these are things I can’t do a god damn thing about.
Heart disease
Brain aneurysms
The fact that just experiencing negative emotions degrades your health (that is so unfair); depressed because everything’s gone to shit? Mad because people keep fucking you over? You don’t live as long because of it.
Basically let’s just say all the ways the human body can fail you and isn’t equipped properly for the lives we lead. The food I’m “supposed” to eat disgusts me, and I could be on the verge of death at any given moment and not know it.
The fact that we’re less than a single ember in the history of the universe and all that astronomers believe is charted to happen after us is like, incomprehensibly massive cosmic events, lot of black holes.
The fact that some day I’m going to die and that’s just going to be it is chilling, the most I can hope to is try to be one of the “fortunate” ones that makes it to around 100 years of age; and even then I’ll probably be tired of it and physically/mentally degraded pretty severely by then. What’s it like after you die? It’s exactly the same as it was before you were born.
Oh yeah, black holes. You go near one of them and time slows down as you’re torn apart at the atomic level. Imagine falling into a meat grinder but it takes a thousand years, or a million. You’d be insane and dead.
The idea of suffering in silence while people either can’t see that you’re distressed or don’t care. This could apply to just being depressed and wishing you had friends, or like, actually having something bad happen to you where you’d be fine if you had another person around, but you don’t. Something like choking or falling off a ladder while living on your own.
Climate change and the fading light of earth’s biodiversity .
The rise of political folks who desire modern fascism.
Late stage capitalism and its tendency to basically make the entire world worse.
Micro-plastics
Dental pain. Experienced it once and that was enough to give me lifetime nightmares. Absolute horror!
Dental procedures helped me understand that most of us would quickly buckle under torture
Oh fuck yes. I had a removed wisdom tooth get infected, and the dentist said “due to all the pus, the anesthesic won’t work as well, but don’t worry, we’ll go as fast as possible”.
It’s a phrase that features frequently in my nightmares.
That and the “You’ll feel some pressure” lie.
Yeah, no. I know how pressure feels and it is not that!
I am female therefore many medical procedures that should absolutely use some kind of anesthesia, do not because “it’ll be over in a pinch” “it’s mild discomfort” etc. IUD insertion is a big fear of mine.
Fwiw, my IUD track record is 1 easy insertion, 1 easy removal, 1 “that wasn’t fun” removal and 1 “maybe giving birth would be preferable” insertion.
Your mileage may vary.
Fuck that’s a lot to process!
I’ve had health issues since I was a kid (all stemming from developing Crohn’s Disease symptoms before I was even a teenager), and a lot of them still haven’t been resolved (in part of reasons such as developing new conditions due to medications I took to treat another condition). One of the worst things I fear is that if I randomly end up leaving this world in a way that incurs an autopsy, the results will end with something like “Damn, this man had issues. If his doctors had known about X then he could’ve lived a much better life, the treatment is simple”.
I go through so much, and I’ve done countless research to try to track down possibilities that my doctors hadn’t considered (some of my research has in fact lead to me finding out new things that my doctors didn’t account for, even as of this year) - and I always have this terrifying doubt of “What if I had just chosen a different doctor, the next one on the list might’ve had this idea years ago and prevented some of this”. That line of thinking of “Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve” doesn’t help of course (as my friend likes to tell me “What if the sky were green?”) but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about it more often than I’d like to.
I’m afraid I’ll live my whole life in fear like I’m doing now, that I’ll never experience love, that one day I’ll wake up old and alone, in misery and just waiting to die but too afraid end it.
Everything. Everything scares me. If I stop and think about anything in particular, I slowly realize how frightening that thing really is.
Cat. Sits with its ass on your face while you sleep.
Dog. Eats its own vomit and greets others by sniffing their ass, then tries to lick you.
shivers
I have lived with cats, none has ever sat on my face.
There, there… I’m sure some cat will sit on your face someday.
My temper
