• ResoluteCatnap@lemmy.ml
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    5 months ago

    i once had a customer who wanted their fish “blackened”. Everyone else on staff had tried at some point and the customer always complained it was undercooked. So me being the new gal said id do it. I threw it in a pan and left it there for god knows how long. Then flipped it, left it there longer, and finally threw it into the back of our oven for another 15 minutes. It was literally charcoal when i was done. I was sure they would complain that it was overcooked but those fuckers loved it. They specifically requested me to cook their meal whenever they came in after that. I was just fucking with them the first time 🤷‍♀️

    • nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca
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      5 months ago

      At that point the fact that it started as a fish barely matters. These guys could just eat charcoal from a 20lb bag.

      • ResoluteCatnap@lemmy.ml
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        5 months ago

        Oh, i mean the customers (husband and wife) loved it. They literally wanted it burnt when they asked for blackened. All my coworkers had tried to get the outside crispy from the spices but each time they didn’t cook the inside to be flaky enough according to this couple. This occurred over several weeks. Each week the couple came in asking for it and my coworkers progressively cooked it longer each time but it was never good enough. We thought they were just trying to get free meals so when i said i would cook it, i was going for a “they can’t complain about this being undercooked” and much to my surpruse they actually liked it.

        I’ll note that no one else in the restaurant ever complained about my coworkers’ blackened fish. It was a popular meal. So it wasn’t my coworkers not cooking it right. Just an odd couple

        • skulblaka@startrek.website
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          5 months ago

          My mother used to be like this with steak. She would ask for it well done, and after the waiter wrote that down, she’d follow up with a comparison to a hockey puck. Like really just fuck this thing up sideways, it should be charcoal. The looks we got from most waiters were hilarious.

          Meanwhile my dad would order the rarest steak it was legal to sell him. “Just walk it past the grill on the way out here, I want it still trying to graze on my salad”.

          To their credit most places got it close enough that we could eat without complaint.

    • SSUPII@sopuli.xyzOP
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      5 months ago

      Why bother with a grill or oven? Just stick some sparklers in your fish and light them up—dinner and fireworks all in one! Comes out perfectly cooked.

      • Opisek@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        Alternatively, you can replace an electric grill by sticking the fish directly in your wall socket! The electricity will travel through the wet fish, heating it from the inside - a joy for the whole family!

  • Sparky@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    5 months ago

    The recipe states that you have to heat the fish until the geiger counter goes off, not until it starts glowing red.

    Explanation

    In practice this would be absurd to achieve.
    As you continue to heat an object, it starts to glow due to the infrared light it emits (the one we perceive as heat) that transitions to a red glow as the frequency emitted gets higher (that’s why that fish is glowing). If we continue to heat the fish until it reaches millions of degrees celcius, it’s frequency should shift to the ionizing range(radioactive), and set off the geiger counter

    • The Stoned Hacker@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      at what temperature and oxygen density does the carbon break free and automatically bond with oxygen to form CO2, thus evaporating. you might burn the fish away before it gets radioactive.

      • Sparky@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        5 months ago

        Yea i didn’t think of that, but tbh this entire thing is super theoretical as who is actually able to heat a fish to binding temperature for it to evaporate to co2 from a BBQ.

  • Resol van Lemmy@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Wait, that’s a fish? I thought it was coal.

    I said something along the lines of this when this picture was first posted. I still see coal.