• 0 Posts
  • 82 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: July 16th, 2023

help-circle







  • There’s always a difference in how men and women are treated. It’s not always a horrible evil sexist thing, but people pick up on cues from tone and username and react to that.

    Being online is nice, because the default assumption is that you’re a man, so unless you have a super femme username or are talking about something femme-coded like gardening or knitting, people tend not to treat you like a woman. “Treating you like a woman” basically means being dismissive of your experience or knowledge or tone policing (if I make a rude joke under a femme username, people downvote the hell out of it unless it’s about a very safe target- that’s how minor the difference is, to be clear). I’m also probably an egg, so my perception of not being treated like a woman as nice might be skewed.


  • Why not make a new account with a femme sounding username and see? Don’t pretend you need help with a bra or anything, just interact with lemmy while “labeled” a woman.

    I have a more masculine username and a more feminine username (both seem like spins on given names, think UrArthUr and Bekky), and there is a difference in how I’m perceived, or at least how people respond to me. It’s not huge, and I’m afab irl, so I’m also not surprised- I don’t think I’ve ever been somewhere where people can freely interact and it had no effect (or at least not since I grew tits).




  • My mom died when I was 12, but she was ill and not really participating in my life for much longer. There are some things that I missed out on because I didn’t have a maternal figure, but they’re pretty minor. For example, I learned as a 29 year old with D cups that there’s a difference between a sports bra and a bra without an underwire (exercise is much more comfortable now). People might disagree, but I don’t think that’s a huge deal not to know, and almost any adult woman as well as many men would have been able to tell me that, had I thought to ask.

    I guess I’d say: if you’re raising a child alone or with a partner of the same gender, just get a comprehensive health/sex Ed teacher. Otherwise, I don’t think there’s much of a need for any specific gender in child raising.





  • It’s generally legal in the US, with some exceptions (judges holding court, maybe ship captains?), and as an American, it’s a little hard to wrap my head around the laws in Germany. I live here, so I just don’t say rude things to strangers, but what is an insult?

    Some people are ugly or fat or bald or stupid, all of which I would consider insults. Can the truth be an insult? What if I did fuck that dude’s mom last night, would it be an insult to tell him? I’ve seen dutzen (use of the informal “you”) be considered an insult, and I just don’t understand how. I understand how it can offend someone, but the word I use for the people I love best in the world is objectively not an insult.

    If insulting is subjective, can lizzo (or an equally body positive person) get away with calling someone fat?

    Above all, how is saying “it is my sincere opinion that” before the insult a real defense?