I feel like people are doing a disservice by using the phrase “toxic masculinity”

You can’t use that phrase without implying masculinity in general is a bad thing. Trying to draw a distinction between “masculinity” and “toxic masculinity” is using the same logic as the people that say “but you’re one of the good ones” when they’re talking to someone of [insert race, gender, religion, etc].

They’re toxic people that cause these problems. There’s nothing wrong with masculinity.

If you do want to open 22, and there are plenty of good reasons to want to, just implement something called port knocking and you can do it safely.

Note with this you still need good authentication. That means no passwords, key based auth only.