Man, I always get tricked by these fucking Onion articles. Oh wait…

Your minivan is huge too…

And your speakers are on subscription plans that charge you for every second that they play noise. Better upgrade to the next tier if you want to listen to anything else!

How do you have 1000 bottles of lube? This must be that slippery slope I’ve been hearing so much about.

Lol eat shit Harvey

That sounds awesome. Can’t wait to check it out.

Then he’d really be fucked.

I’m playing Scorn right now. Fuuuuuuuuck thaaaaaat

This is my first time hearing about the new DOOM game. Is it in the same style as DOOM 2016 and DOOM Eternal?

You didn’t pay a fee for dining in. Fuck off.

Buddy got that Schenectady eye.

What the hell are these pieces of shit thinking?

Happy National Tequila Day!

Man that’s sad as fuck. Can’t imagine that happening right in front of me. And I’m sure it’s just the way the article is written but does the dad come of kind of… chill… when talking about the whole thing? Seems like a character just telling a story in a movie.

Can’t wait! Really hope it plays as well as it looks.

Looking like it’s PC only?

Never ends with these pieces of shit.

Odd that it says $10.99 for individual plan on the website but $12.99 when you download the app.