Just bought a pineapple for the first time. Checked a few videos and posts on internet to see how I am supposed to cut it up, everyone said to throw the core away or use it in a smoothie at best. Even my mom said to throw it away.
Anyway, I tried to eat a small amount of it, and then ate the entire core. It’s pretty edible, feels like throwing out pizza crust.
Much more chewable than celeriac. Though I would label it as “Dental floss mandatory” type of food, but so is anything with poppy seeds.
So how do you use it? Do you eat it, throw it out, something else?
Take it and sprinkle it in paprika. Next, cover it in tin foil. Bake it in the oven at 300 for 45 minutes. Once it is baked. Take it out and immediately freeze it over night.
The next day, blend your frozen baked pineapple stick into dust. after that you will want to sprinkle your dust on a baking tray and set it low in the oven at a low heat for about 5 hours. This should dehydrate it nicely. Funnel the dust into a jar and save it.
Next time you are having a pizza with friends, sprinkle some pineapple dust on the pizza before it goes in your oven. They won’t be able to identify what is making the pizza so delicious but they’ll absolutely love it.
It seems like a lot of work, but honestly it is the single greatest foodstuff that has ever passed these lips.
I genuinely thought this was going to end with like “and then shove it up your ass!” or something
I was expecting the undertaker throwing mankind
…and then you tell them it’s pineapple, right? What an evil plan, I love it!
Or just let them believe you to be a pizza genius. Start to give them pizza hits as and when they need them. Sell pizza in small baggies by the ounce. Make your fortune. Buy a yacht. sail the seas. Become a pirate. Find some gold. Share it among your crew. Realise later it’s cursed. Track down every last coin but one. Find the last one with some chick. Kidnap her. End up fighting an old foe. Die an old but very satiated pirate.